Vintage Kitchen Gadgets
Kitchen collectibles: a spin into insanity
KITCHEN COLLECTIBLES: a spin into insanity
There are some things we all seem to have in common. One thing that appears to be the same for most of us, is, when you visit family or friends, sooner or later you end up plopping down in the kitchen. And why not? For most people, our kitchens are the axis of our daily lives. The place we receive sustenance; physical, emotional and intellectual. It’s no surprise then, that so many people are attracted to the trappings associated with our surrogate womb, and find that collecting kitchen paraphernalia can be such a rewarding pastime.
Collecting can cause some rather curious behavior. The hunt for kitchen collectibles can unexpectedly turn us all into amateur anthropologists. With each new acquisition, we examine the past, our search putting us into a world populated largely by whatzit’s and thingamajigs. “What’s that?” becomes our mantra. Before we know it, we find ourselves peeking into the kitchen drawers at an estate sale, revealing a cacophony of gadgetry, seemingly as exotic as King Tut’s tomb. As we examine the time capsule before us, the excitement of it all makes us just a little dizzy. Who made this thing? What’s that? Is it patented, can I find the date. Is there hidden meaning surrounding the difference between red and green handled kitchen tools? What are these white handled doohickeys? Did anyone else see these things? Where’s a box.
Life becomes curiouser and curiouser. You’re consumed. Most of your free time is now spent franticly searching yard sales, flea markets, antiques shops and shows in search of the next kitchen utensil fix. It doesn’t take long to discover that the task at hand is greater than first thought, and as the search continues, realize the world contains an endless variety of vintage egg beaters, can openers, fruit bottles and the like. Haunted by the likelihood that there are probably kitchen gadgets you don’t even know about, you develop a slight tic in your left eye. The truth is obvious, what you need is a research library.
You buy a copy of 300 years of kitchen collectibles, 644 pages, and the bible of kitchen wizardry. Locking yourself in the bathroom for 3 days, you reemerge an expert on can openers and corkscrews. Reinforced with your newfound knowledge, you relish the task at hand. The new goal, get one of each.
You’re finding it hard to sleep the night before an antiques show. Since youcan’t get into the show before 10:00, you make a list of yard sales to hit on the way in. Damn, you should have past that last sale, now you’re in the back of the line, and all the best stuff will be gone before you even get through the door. Note to self; start setting your alarm for 5:00 am on antiques show days.
Time passes, and you become an advanced collector. People are now asking you about can openers. You’ve also read the price guides, and mistakenly begin to perceive your collection to be your biggest asset, and the core of your retirement plans. Finding more antique kitchen gadgets begins to dominate your life.
To celebrate 30 years, you give your wife an old A&J beater for your anniversary. As she’s putting her stuff in the moving van, you’re thinking about how many shelves you can fit in the sewing room. This is going to work out great. However in a few days, you realize you’ve been wearing the same underwear, and there hasn’t been dinner on the table for 5 days. Turns out you miss the wife, and you start to wonder, how can I lure her back? Is there a twelve step program for this?
You’re encouraged; you find a local Antiques Anonymous chapter. The problem is, sponsors are scarce, and it’s not easy to find someone disciplined enough to give up collecting. You preserver, and eventually locate a guy who used to collect Mouli Grater’s, and is willing to be your sponsor. The next Saturday morning you and your sponsor find yourselves climbing over the wall at the local swap meet to get in early. Flashlight in hand, he quickly locates a pair of stunning green handled slotted spoons. The jerk keeps them both for himself, and you shuffle away angrily. Antiques Anonymous is a racquet. Your relationship with your sponsor is certainly over.
Later that morning, you happen on a mint condition Fisher Beer church key, and start feeling a little better. As it turns out, the trip to the swap meet was not a total loss. You now have your own stall, and can shop early during setup every Saturday.
Life is pretty sweet now; the doctor gave you a sedative for that tic, the swap meet stall is starting to show a profit, and you’re writing your own price guide. You do miss the wife, but the collection is coming along just fine. As a matter of fact, last Saturday at the flea market you picked up a nice 1940’s cast iron ricer for only four bucks. Suckers, these guys don’t even know what they’ve got.
About the Author
Dennis Barker is publisher of the New Century Collector, a monthly Utah based collector’s newspaper, which features collecting news, along with antiques advertising and articles related to the field. Distributed throughout Utah and parts of Idaho, the publication can be picked up free from most antiques shops within their distribution area. The current issue, along with past issues can be read at our website www.newcenturycollector.com
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